The Year of Celebration

Oh Britain, how you confuse me with your rapid weather changes. An hour ago there was lightning, thunder and torrential rain. Now as I type the sunshine is warming my sitting room. Clearly this makes my outfit planning for the day very difficult, but despite this I cannot be annoyed with you. After all, I can't blame myself for my day-to-day moods, nor can I blame the gods for the emotional mirror the weather provides. Today is a good day. Nothing has happened. Either eventfully or emotionally. Sometimes silence and solitude is all I need for serenity.  “Do not be angry with the rain; it simply does not know how to fall upwards.”                                               ―  Vladimir Nabokov

I don't know what's considered a milestone in the blogging world, but today I noticed I've had over 20,000 views of my blog, which seems pretty incredible to me. I've received nothing but support over these last two years of chronicling my journey on this path called life and I have you readers to thank for that. As an homage to posts past I'm going to revert back to the old format. Music. Fact. Quote. All related to numbers.  Music: Rent My favourite musical is Rent. I remember seeing it when I was 14 in London and again when I was 22 in New York and of course the film came out between those times. I've never been big on musicals, but Rent revolutionised them for me. I realised that my love for music and theatre could actually be combined into something that wasn't trite or cheesy and could carry a profound message. I went to Liberty Theatre in Bermuda and watched the movie Philadelphia with my dad when I was nine years old. I remember it so clearly ...

Check out my friends CAUGHT A GHOST 's cover of TLC's 'Waterfalls'. I remember listening to the original version incessantly when I was 11 and how incredible the video looked at the time. Even at that age I was suffering from an internal malady that I didn't know how to explain. I was one of Left Eye's "folk who can't cope with such enduring pain, it keeps them in the pouring rain." That is no longer true for me, at least right now, but I know these things can only be dealt with a day at a time. Now all that remains is for me to go back in time and tell that 11-year-old me that it might take 18 years, but just hold on for awhile. Grip onto life so hard if you have to that even your knuckles turn white, because you only have one life. Act accordingly.   

Daniel Radcliffe in 'The Cripple of Inishmaan' In the last four weeks I've been blessed enough to see four plays. My mission took me from the Arcola Theatre Tent in Dalston to the very fringe Vogue Fabrics in Stoke Newington to the Orangery in Holland Park to the Noel Coward Theatre ( again ) in the West End. The first performance was put on by the Arts Council England-funded Generation Arts Future Stage Company. Generation Arts is a company which provides a training ground for young people who would otherwise not have such exposure to the arts. It works specifically with those in the margins of London who are not in education, employment or training and who are considered at risk. The Future Stage program allows such young people to form a theatre company for a year and put on a production, which I was fortunate enough to witness. I was immensely impressed by both the talent and the writing in 'Enough Said'. I usually don't like comedies, but I laughed...

After two months of not even a sprinkling of anxiety I had major panic attacks last week. It was even more intense and overwhelming as I was of the (clearly misguided) belief that I had conquered them. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think and I was crying so hard I thought I might pass out. The worst part was that I couldn't remotely pinpoint the cause of the anxiety. I was racking my brain, trying to breathe, meditate and calm myself and I was incredibly frustrated by the fact that I couldn't seem to battle through. Yesterday, the anxiety finally lifted only to be replaced by depression and exhaustion. I was terrified that this would last, but after about 12 hours sleep I woke up this morning back to the mood I've been in for the last two months, which has been quite positive, calm and even elated at times. However, at the beginning of this happy phase of life I couldn't shake the worry that it would soon disappear. I just had to keep reminding myself that it ...

In the space of a week I was lucky enough to see two plays in London's West End and they couldn't have been more different from one another. As explained in last week's post , Peter & Alice inspired in me such depth of thought regarding my own life. Book of Mormon on the other hand just allowed me to escape from my life for a couple of hours. My relationship with comedy is an awkward one, because whilst I love a good laugh, I also rarely choose to watch comedies so it's up to someone else to suggest them. The lovely one always remarks that unless a film makes me cry I'm uninterested in watching it. That's entirely untrue. I just enjoy films with depth and meaning (and maybe a good dose of death). Whenever I attempt to watch comedy I prepare myself to be disappointed, because frankly, most of the time it's not  that  funny. Yes, it can be mildly amusing or  quite  funny, but it's rarely leaving me in floods of tears (I suppose maybe the litmus tes...

What a week of loveliness. London has been good to me thus far. Yes, there are ups and downs of moving countries, especially as I'm jobless and homeless, but London has so much going on that there are fantastic distractions. Those distractions this week were two amazing concerts. The first one on Tuesday was Langhorne Slim & The Law and The Lumineers at Brixton Academy. The second was The Avett Brothers at The Forum supported by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals. I had intended to review the first gig the day after, but I was up until 3am the night before and then life took over (coupled with a good amount of exhaustion) and I kept starting the post and failing to finish. So here we go: A phenomenal displ ay of musical genius. That's how I would describe Tuesday night. Those two class acts deserve nothing but praise. Before I continue I should admit, as a disclaimer on any grounds of bias, I do call Slim and David (his banjo and key...

I can't believe it's been a month since I last wrote. Time has certainly flown by and life has changed dramatically. As of a couple of days ago, I am officially a London resident. I said farewell to the Vancouver rain and hello to the London fog (no doubt the rain is not far behind).  Why did I leave the west coast? Well, both Canadian and American immigration processes are nightmares. I got far along in the process with the US, but need to put together more evidence. I haven't even tried with Canada as the waiting process is two years. And I need to be working now . So I'm now ensconsed in the joys (ha!) of job-hunting. I so wish that my acting and writing paid all my bills, but alas, that is not the case (for now). I've been applying to all sorts of things, legal work included, but I'm really looking for something that will spark my creativity. So that I'm not dreading the work day and I feel like my 8 hours per day are spent doing something I enjoy. ...

What a week. In terms of an emotional rollercoaster, this one was the triple loop. I wish I could make a cultural reference to a famous rollercoaster, but I've always been one to hate them. Genuinely hate them. Same goes for horror films. I don't do well with fear. Some people thrive on it. I cower and cry in a corner.  So did anything precipitate this wondrous ride I went on? Well, actually, no. I've experienced some pretty traumatic and stressful events in my life (and conversely some exhilarating, miraculous ones) and this week was a flatliner. There were no blips on the radar or snags in the fabric. There was just my brain chemistry and the havoc it can wreak.  I've been sober for 50 days. That's probably the longest stretch since I was 15 years old. What I've learned about myself in these past 50 days could fill a book, but it's a novel I'm not yet ready to share with the world. In case you're wondering, sobriety isn't easy (under...

On Sunday night I saw the new Tom Hooper directed film adaptation of 'Les Miserables'. Feeling raw, I came out of the cinema into the darkness of the night. For the first time since being in Vancouver (and possibly ever) I was grateful for the gloom and rain, because the dramatic streak in me revelled in the pathetic fallacy. I did not trudge home as per usual, shivering and blinking away the rain. Instead I glided alone along the pavements that "shined like silver" and indulged in some self-examination. Sporadically, there will be films I watch that touch me in unimaginable ways. That remind me of cinematic magic and the reasons I need to be an actor. I love writing and for the last year I've questioned whether I could be content doing just that. The answer is yes, that I could be content, but that I am never as ignited as I am when I am performing. That's what this film reminded me of. I have had experiences in theatre and performing where I have been ...

Yes, it's true. My heart is on fire. Ok, to be fair, it already was, but I'm on a high from last night's Passenger concert at the Vogue Theatre in Vancouver. I arrived in Canada yesterday and barely had time to settle in before the lovely one took me out for a night on the town. We arrived in the middle of the opening act's set, and unfortunately I didn't catch his name, but it was a delightful start. But I was really inspired by the second act, a young man named  Joshua Hyslop , who performed on his acoustic guitar with a cello for accompaniment.  The crowd was predominantly female (of all ages) and there were some drunken members there, especially the older women who kept yelling "You're ADORABLE!" at him. And to be fair, he was very adorable, and extremely talented. I look forward to hearing more from him. As for the main act, my love introduced me to Passenger and I was immediately hooked. I'm even more of a fan now. I have all his albu...

Well....it's been some time since I posted. Mostly because the Year of Celebration was over quite a while ago. When I started the blog I had only intended it to last a year, but often wondered whether I would continue. I started to lose momentum towards the end, but I've decided that why should celebrations only last one year. Maybe I should rename this to the YEARS of Celebration. Either way, I'm back in the blogosphere and will hopefully remain here for longer this time (no promises though!) After a year and a half away I'm back living in Los Angeles. I've missed it, and I forget the feeling it gives me when I'm here. I know a lot of people aren't LA fans, and to each their own, but for me it feels nourishing. That's not to say I don't have my freak-outs, or anxiety attacks (just had one earlier this evening to be fair!), but I feel like I'm moving forward at least through all of that.  Since I was 11 years old I've known I wanted to...

 When I first got to London, my friend Anne suggested we all go for brunch at Columbia Road on the day of the flower market, which happens every Sunday. Unfortunately, we couldn't all get together, but it's been in my mind since then. So finally today, on my last Sunday I went with John to the market. It was absolutely beautiful. I couldn't believe how cheap the flowers were, being used to all the imported flowers in Bermuda, which are insanely pricey. There were orchids for a fiver, and my "brother" Raymond in New York is obsessed with orchids. I wished he was around so I could buy them for him. If I wasn't about to leave on Tuesday I would have scooped up loads. I have to admit the photo of the flowers isn't mine as I stupidly didn't take any pictures of the actual market.  We had a lovely wander along the market, grabbed some food and coffee and proceeded to investigate all the vintage stores around. Some were incredibly pricey, but I found s...

It is with a heavy heart that I write about the death of Nick Ashford of the couple and power-house music duo Ashford & Simpson. I have been fortunate in my own life to see them perform twice, both at Progressive Labour Party events in Bermuda, where they took on the slogan "Solid as a Rock" for their election campaign (and won). This twosome wrote so many of the world's most famous songs, I'm nearly having a meltdown trying to figure out what to share. So I just had to choose the classic Ain't No Mountain High Enough (which is also the backing music for Amy Winehouse's Tears Dry on Their Own). Thank you, Nick Ashford, for giving us so much music to celebrate. Rest Well. Personally, I was in a "Kind of Blue" kind of mood today, so I spent the evening listening to Miles Davis' album of the name and started clearing out my belongings ahead of the move back to LA. My mother wants to move after we've all left so she's commanded ...

After last night's early night I had a lot of energy this morning. Spent a couple of hours writing my children's book, then headed to St. George's to see my sister's godmother Gina before she headed back to the UK. I arrived at Grape Bay and surfed (badly) for a few hours with my friends Nick, Ben, Kaitlyn, Jason and my sister Nadia. Nick recently had his jaw broken by some youths who jumped him for defending a girl in a bar. I marvel at Nick's positivity. He's one of the sunniest people I know and hasn't let this get him down. He inspires me to be more optimistic. Nick hasn't let it make him less sociable, and actually went to the concert I missed on Friday night, because I was moping at home. As I was driving home from the beach all I could think was that I was in a blues/jazz kind of mood and immediately wanted to start playing some when I got home. Happily for me, today is the birthdate of Count Basie, so I had a reason to listen to him for an hou...

TO THE GAME! Today involved actually heading to the Cricket game to watch the final day of Cup Match. Well, I didn't do much watching, I did a lot of wandering, eating, drinking and gambling at Crown & Anchor. Crown & Anchor involves a table with the 4 suits, and a crown and anchor. You place your bet on whichever you like and the dealer rolls three dice with each side representing a square. If you get one, you double your money, two, triple your money...and so on. I broke even, but ended up buying an airhorn necklace (Bermp! Bermp!) by Alexandra Mosher so finished down by the end of the day. My friend Jen is visiting from Toronto (and I'm visiting her in a few weeks to go to a wedding - or "veddin" in Bermudian). She arrived off the Air Canada flight at lunchtime and we took her straight to the game, she was under strict orders not to wear St. George's colours, which are light blue and dark blue. Somerset, the team I support, is dark blue and red. The mat...

Today, in 1952 Eva Duarte de Peron, wife of the president of the Argentine Republic, General Juan Domingo de Peron, passed away from cancer at the age of 33. Her early death is surely a sad occasion, but it gives me the opportunity to share this beautiful rendition of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" by Sinead O'Connor, from the musical "Evita" based on Eva Peron's life. On July 26, 1875, Carl (Gustav) Jung , one of the founders of analytic psychology, was born. He was a man of beautiful words, so I share the following quotes, which compliment this blog: "A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them. " " Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity. "

Every year my friend Marty hosts his birthday party at his house the weekend before Cup Match (Bermuda's Emancipation Celebration holiday). Every year he calls it something related to his name, we've had Marty Like a Rockstar, Cinco de Marty, Mart Madness, etc. This year's is named Martchella after Coachella. I also had a pool party to rock up to so I spent the night flitting between the two. Bermuda is a very multi-cultural place, and some would say very integrated. However, oftentimes I am struck by how segregated we are. I took my friend Jason to both parties, in the first I was the only person of colour, at the second he was the only Caucasian person. I still think it's a shame, but I hope we are always progressing on this front. Today is the birthdate of Haile Selassie I, the emperor of Ethiopia from 1930 to 1974, was born. Following his death on August 26, 1975. I wrote early in my blog about Selassie here . The non-celebratory news of Amy Winehouse's deat...

Today on July 16, 1911, Ginger Rogers, the American actress and dancer who partnered with Fred Astaire in many Hollywood musicals, was born. I've chosen to share two different videos. One from Roberta titled Too Hard to Handle and the classic Cheek to Cheek from Top Hat, which is such a special and romantic song, it makes me dreamy-eyed thinking about the golden era of Hollywood romance. Today's quote comes from J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, which was published today in 1951 and has become the seminal novel for teen angst. "Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them — if you want to. Jus...