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Showing posts from January, 2013

Please Remain Seated

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What a week. In terms of an emotional rollercoaster, this one was the triple loop. I wish I could make a cultural reference to a famous rollercoaster, but I've always been one to hate them. Genuinely hate them. Same goes for horror films. I don't do well with fear. Some people thrive on it. I cower and cry in a corner. 
So did anything precipitate this wondrous ride I went on? Well, actually, no. I've experienced some pretty traumatic and stressful events in my life (and conversely some exhilarating, miraculous ones) and this week was a flatliner. There were no blips on the radar or snags in the fabric. There was just my brain chemistry and the havoc it can wreak. 
I've been sober for 50 days. That's probably the longest stretch since I was 15 years old. What I've learned about myself in these past 50 days could fill a book, but it's a novel I'm not yet ready to share with the world. In case you're wondering, sobriety isn't easy (understatement…

Young and Unafraid

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On Sunday night I saw the new Tom Hooper directed film adaptation of 'Les Miserables'. Feeling raw, I came out of the cinema into the darkness of the night. For the first time since being in Vancouver (and possibly ever) I was grateful for the gloom and rain, because the dramatic streak in me revelled in the pathetic fallacy. I did not trudge home as per usual, shivering and blinking away the rain. Instead I glided alone along the pavements that "shined like silver" and indulged in some self-examination.
Sporadically, there will be films I watch that touch me in unimaginable ways. That remind me of cinematic magic and the reasons I need to be an actor. I love writing and for the last year I've questioned whether I could be content doing just that. The answer is yes, that I could be content, but that I am never as ignited as I am when I am performing. That's what this film reminded me of. I have had experiences in theatre and performing where I have been bles…

Twenty Thirteen

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Well there's been a Christmas since I last wrote and it's a whole new year. That's supposed to mean new beginnings, or so I hear. (As I read that back, I realised it rhymed, and no, it was not intentional, and yes, it makes me sound like a 6-year-old poet.) As for New Year's resolutions, well to be honest I gave up on those some time ago. Most people feel deficient in some way, why exacerbate that with feelings of failure? Because let's be honest, resolutions are like real Christmas trees. They're pretty much dead before the 12th day.
Do I sound pessimistic? Perhaps. Isn't this meant to be a celebratory, positive blog? Well, yes. But I also don't shy away from the realistic. It's the fifth day of 2013 and all I feel is the same leftover sludge from last year. Facebook encourages you to do a 'My Year in Review" picture/status/emotional upheaval post from the year 2012. No thanks. Was 2012 a bad year? Mostly no. I fell in love. I spent a lot…