The Year of Celebration

It may be a cliche, but the beginning of a new year brings new beginnings. January 1st is just another day in the calendar, but for the vast majority of us it comes with resolutions, promises, ideas and inspiration. For me 2015 was the worst year of my life. I struggled to celebrate with everything that happened, much of which I haven't written about as it's too painful, but so far 2016 is remarkably better and I'm reexamining my life. I've been contemplating the day I began this blog in 2011. For those of you who haven't been with me from the beginning, it started as a challenge for myself to choose something to celebrate every day for a year. It came off the back of some difficult times. My father had passed away, as had my cousin Ken, my foot had been smashed and I'd had to learn to walk again properly, battling an addiction to painkillers and I'd been struggling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder. At the beginning of that year I had been called to t...

There is so much being written about the refugee crisis. I specifically use the word "refugee" over "migrant" unlike many or our news publications. A migrant is someone who moves to a different part of the world to find work or better living conditions. A refugee moves out of fear for their human rights and safety, not for a better economic chance. Those fleeing from their lives are not doing so because they have a choice. They are doing so to live. I'm not sure how much I can add to the debate, but I can tell a personal story: In my first year of university I lived in halls of residence, a self-catered apartment with six rooms. Across from me was Adis Kulo. Adis had been a refugee from Sarajevo and arrived many years before I met him. He had fled Bosnia as a child, been separated from his mother and temporarily lived in France with a family of strangers. He was finally reunited with her in the UK, which the Adis Kulo Foundation website calls a " count...

It's been some time since I last blogged. The thing that I've discovered about life getting better is that it starts to get bigger. I am forced to prioritise and sometimes the things that I love, such as blogging, are pushed to the wayside. So the Year of Celebration has suffered. As I type these words I realise that shouldn't be the case. The things that I love should be the priority, because otherwise what am I living for? Two years ago today I woke up and I was in deep emotional, physical and mental pain. I didn't know it then, but those feelings were great gifts, because they made me realise I didn't want to keep living the way I was. I knew I didn't want to die (after two failed suicide attempts apparently the universe didn't want me to either), but I had no idea how to keep on fighting the demons in my head. I wasn't clinically depressed, but I was deeply unhappy and I felt that sanity was out of reach for me. That day, December 11th 2012, I wo...

I have gratitude today. I try to have it everyday, but let's be honest, it can be damn hard when you're in the throes of a major depression so sometimes I just forget. I find writing a gratitude list can help (to be fair I often count my blessings in my mind rather than a piece of paper, which might not be as effective, but it certainly still does something). Today I am thankful to and for Sarah Frick. Despite the fact that we have only met twice (through her lovely husband John who often comes down to Bermuda for deep sea fishing) and the wide expanse of the Atlantic Ocean separates us, I consider her a soul sister. The reason I do is because I have been deeply inspired by Sarah's faith, hope and 'grace' over the last couple of years. Sarah writes a blog called Love Letters to Grace, which began following the loss of her days-old daughter Clara Grace. Sarah has chronicled her life since that time in the most beautiful, devoted way, by sharing those feelings with ...