So today is one of those down in the dumps for no reason, anxiety-ridden, want-to-hide-under-the-duvet days. Now it could have something to do with over-indulgence on Friday night, so I'm not exactly innocent in all of this. Motivating myself to do something today has been tough, but that was the entire point in the Year of Celebration - to force myself, on days like these , to be positive.
Research-wise I've been very lazy today. Today is Kristen Stewart's birthday, but anything Twilight-related will make me more depressed. It is also Elle Fanning's birthday and I've been wanting to see Sofia Coppola's Somewhere for quite a while so I rented it off of iTunes, though have yet to actually watch it (off-book deadline for Sand in the Air is on Monday so I'm line-reading). Seeing as my sister lives just down the street from Chateau Marmont (where the film is set) I could have completed the day by heading up there for some drinks, but instead my dad's friend Tal treated my sister and I to an early dinner at the delicious Palihouse on Holloway Drive. It definitely lifted my spirits and by the end of the evening I was in a much better mood. Tal and my father have some serious similarities and although they only knew each other for a couple of years before my Dad's death they had become very close. In honour of Tal and my dad I've chosen My Funny Valentine for today's music, as they both are not-so-secret crooners and it's one of their favourites:
Sir Francis Bacon passed away on April 9th, 1626, and served as Attorney General of England. Fitting too, as Dad and Tal were/are both lawyers so today's quote comes from him:
"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties."
Oh Britain, how you confuse me with your rapid weather changes. An hour ago there was lightning, thunder and torrential rain. Now as I type the sunshine is warming my sitting room. Clearly this makes my outfit planning for the day very difficult, but despite this I cannot be annoyed with you. After all, I can't blame myself for my day-to-day moods, nor can I blame the gods for the emotional mirror the weather provides. Today is a good day. Nothing has happened. Either eventfully or emotionally. Sometimes silence and solitude is all I need for serenity. “Do not be angry with the rain; it simply does not know how to fall upwards.” ― Vladimir Nabokov
It’s 24 days into 2018 and I’m only now sharing my new year’s resolutions. I am, however, giving myself a pass because mine aren’t just for one year, they’re for 26. Since university, I haven’t planned my life more than a few months ahead. I thought I was a free spirit, but I now believe it was indicative of the opposite – one caged by fear. One that’s scared to plan and be disappointed; terrified to make goals, in case I miss the goalposts. The letter A is for... x While I had an incredible past year of achievements, I experienced something akin to daily stress fractures on my brain, which created fissures and cracks in my mind triggering mania and depression in rapid cycles. Now, I have chosen to unlock the cage: I’m committing myself fully to my creative endeavours all while travelling wherever this wild spirit finds itself drawn to, because that spirit was slowly dying. I was not in a good way. Now, here I am with the vastness of life stretched out before me. These e
I've been negligent, I know. It's not just you, YOC, it's every piece of writing in my life. I'm suffering from the dreaded...dun dun dun...WRITER'S BLOCK. I'm not even sure if that's the right terminology for what I'm experiencing, because actually it's more that I'm hating everything I've written in the past. Since losing my laptop I haven't written a single new word of The Hardest Part , my novel-in-progress. Likely because I lost the last 15-20 pages and I'm resentful. It's been stagnating on page 287 or whatever for two months and I now think I hate it. There are parts of it that I love (usually individual sentences), and I know what I'm trying to do, but I'm just not executing it in the right way. I keep opening the manuscript, reading it, becoming exasperated and deciding that before I make drastic changes or toss the whole thing I'll leave it a few days until I'm in a better mood. The thing is I've
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