Exposed

Today I was exposed. In the most beautiful way possible. In revealing my inner darkness it has always been my intention to help remove the stigma of mental illness; to give a voice to those who cannot or will not speak for themselves. Those who are too ashamed and scared to even reach out for help. Because sometimes we need help and there's nothing wrong with asking for it. It is the solution to inevitable destruction.

I wrote an article for the Bermuda Sun, which was the most revealing and vulnerable piece I've ever written. Even in this blog I have not plunged to the depths of truth regarding my mental state. I have always been too afraid, but I figured if I was going to have an impact, I needed to be as authentic as possible. How can I ask others to reach out for help and to admit to their own demons when I'm not prepared to do the same?

Later on this afternoon I spoke to a group about my journey and those people shared back. To have so many people relate to me and to express that makes me realise that we're all just humans who need to connect. That we all just need someone to listen and help us to understand that our neuroses don't make us crazy... they make us human.

To those of you who have reached out since this article has been published, I'd like to express that your words mean more than I could ever express.

With all the love that I can muster,

Liana

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Street Fight Aftermath

Image
I have been in hiding. I spent years on this blog revealing my truth, but then I became trapped. I somehow began to believe that I couldn’t share my reality anymore and that belief imprisoned me. It imprisoned me at a time when my mind had become a madman and was living to torture me. Haunted by the continuous splatter of sounds that were crunched, smashed, thrown together and weaved with a poisonous thread; a ricochet of memories, feelings, thoughts and voices. A downright cacophony of crazy.  Photo: Nicola Muirhead So, I shared. Six weeks ago, I took to social media and finally expressed how the last 18 months of my life had truly been in a post called “The Street Fight”:  “It’s been several months since I’ve posted. In the mental health narrative, we love stories of rebirth, renewal and redemption. We watch the phoenix burn and we are inspired when we see that phoenix rise from the ashes, but we rarely bear witness to what happens in between. Brene Brown calls
Read more

The Alphabet Years: A is where the adventure begins

Image
It’s 24 days into 2018 and I’m only now sharing my new year’s resolutions. I am, however, giving myself a pass because mine aren’t just for one year, they’re for 26. Since university, I haven’t planned my life more than a few months ahead. I thought I was a free spirit, but I now believe it was indicative of the opposite – one caged by fear. One that’s scared to plan and be disappointed; terrified to make goals, in case I miss the goalposts. The letter A is for... x While I had an incredible past year of achievements, I experienced something akin to daily stress fractures on my brain, which created fissures and cracks in my mind triggering mania and depression in rapid cycles. Now, I have chosen to unlock the cage: I’m committing myself fully to my creative endeavours all while travelling wherever this wild spirit finds itself drawn to, because that spirit was slowly dying. I was not in a good way. Now, here I am with the vastness of life stretched out before me. These e
Read more

Kintsugi and the Beauty in Broken Things

Image
'Hidden Damage'  Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering  There is a crack, a crack in everything  That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen Kintsugi ("golden joinery" or "golden repair") is the Japanese art form of repairing broken pottery with gold. It treats the breakage and repair of the item as part of its history, its journey, its existence. Rather than hiding the damage, it brightly illuminates the repair, inviting the world to see its improved beauty. Just like pottery, we humans can crack, splinter, break, shatter. These knocks remain part of our being and, whilst a brave face might create a temporary disguise, nobody can hide forever. At least I couldn't. To heal, I found I had to expose. Kintsugi treats the crack as merely an event in the life of the object, not a reason to end it. Kintsugi knows that something is more beautiful for having been broken. As someone who considers them
Read more