Life is good. Really good. Celebrations are in order as I've officially gained representation with Crescent Management. I'm very excited to join this lovely agency with lovely people. When I went in to meet them I immediately felt at home and really adored all the members. So, hopefully, I'll start getting some work and keep moving forward.
In other news, I just am elated at the moment. I'm remembering to take my meds and I've quit all my anti-anxieties and flushed them down the toilet. I realised that for nearly four years not a day went by that I wasn't completely present. I was unable to respect my feelings. No matter how I felt I wanted to change it. If I was up I'd take and drink whatever I could to make myself more up. If I was down I'd want to be in oblivion so I couldn't experience that. Now, I'm realising I'm human and that it's natural to encounter the ups and downs of everyday life and process them appropriately. Life has changed immeasurably since I adopted these principles.
I had a ridiculously fantastic weekend. One of the best of my life actually. Friday night started with relaxing in the sun on Clapham Common with friends, then indulging in fried chicken and ice cream and watching a film with my pride of lions (called because the three of us are all Leos and have incredibly similar ideas, thoughts and personalities). Saturday I tanked an audition, but that was fine because I let it go pretty quickly after it was over (utilising my newly learnt coping mechanisms). Then Saturday night went to a garden party for my friend Andy's 30th and his sister's 21st in Biggin Hill. I had randomly met his brother Nick last weekend and when I mentioned Bermuda he said he had family from there. Discussion followed and of course I knew all his cousins and Andy. Cue an invitation to a fantastic party. Sunset. BBQ. Fireworks. Bonfire. Pool. Dance. DJs. Camping. Cake. Sunrise. The exact formula for a perfect night. I rose early on Sunday morning having had less than two hours sleep and I couldn't possibly be cranky. I hightailed it to London to meet with the Collis boys, who drove me to Wycombe airport where we boarded a little four-seater plane and Alexander flew us to Shoreham-by-Sea where we had a picnic on the beach and I actually swam in the same ocean as Bermuda. This side of the Atlantic is, however, a more frigid experience! But I loved every minute of it. Flying back Sunday evening, looking over the English countryside, I thought about the perfection of life and I can't believe that there have been times in my life that I wanted to end it all. I would never have experienced what I have now. Serenity.