A Standard of Grace not Perfection

Via her blog Sarah introduced me to an incredible book called 'Carry on Warrior, Thoughts on Life Unarmed' by Glennon Doyle Melton (the founder of Momastery). Just like Sarah, Glennon is a fierce, strong, lioness of a woman who bares her soul in the most vulnerable way. She doesn't shy away from the difficulties or truth of addiction, alcoholism, adoption and abortion (I'm noticing some As here - it's like they're all good grades in class). Glennon's book made me laugh, made me cry and helped me to heal, just like Sarah's words do too. And you know what I figured out after I read it? These last few weeks I have been a warrior who has had to surrender. Not in a weak or pitiful way, but I've had to surrender to the idea that I can take care of myself all on my own. I have struggled for so long to continue on without asking for help because I'm too embarrassed to admit my own weakness. My psychologist said to me a few weeks ago "You're going to die of embarrassment, because you need help, yet you have no idea how to ask for it." So I reached out for help and fellow warriors, who I like to call friends and family, rallied around me and carried me when I couldn't walk on my own. I have tried to be as honest as my limited bravery allows me to on this blog, but I still know there are many things I hold back, because I worry about the responses of readers. Glennon's father said to her, "Don't you think there are some things you should take to the grave?" She responded saying, "That sounds horrible to me. I don't want to take anything to the grave. I want to die used up and emptied out. I don't want to carry around anything that I don't have to. I want to travel light." One day, Glennon, I'll be there too.
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